Mack Update

I haven't posted pics of my adorable little girl in a while so I thought I would show you all how much she's grown.



Helping mommy fold the laundry...


Mommy's underwear makes a good necklace...



Too cute...



I found daddy's mint chocolate mocha from Starbucks...



Cheese!!!!

A new day for a new endeavor...

This week I have embarked on a new endeavor... Chris and i have been praying and trying to figure out how we can help supplement our income while I am in school this semester and my class schedule will not allow me time to work during the day. Not wanting to have to get a second job which would consume ALL of my evenings and weekends making minimum wage, I think I have found a way to do something I will enjoy while helping make ends meet.

I have become a Pampered Chef consultant, after much thinking and praying, I have decided on giving it a shot. I feel like I could be somewhat successful at it seeing as how it doesn't take much to prove to people how awesome the products are and I have more of an "outgoing" personality.
Whether or not I have "what it takes" for it we'll see I guess. I am definitely looking forward to being able to share their amazing products which I LOVE with the people around me as well as restocking my cabinets with them :)

So for any of you die-hard cooks or those of you who spend as little time in the kitchen as you can, pampered chef makes cooking easy and enjoyable.

Give me a hollar if you're interested in their products or booking a party and we'll work something out!

Motherhood

This morning I put Mack in her highchair for her breakfast of cheerios, banana and milk and walked into the kitchen to get myself something to eat. Seeing as how I had just given Mack the last of the milk, I decided a poptart it was. I walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch and began checking my email.
From over on the other side of the room I hear this: " Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.... down, DOWN!"
I walked over and saw that she had finished most of her breakfast and walked back into the kitchen, grabbed a rag and proceeded to wipe her down and get her down for the highchair.
I walked back into the kitchen with the rag and her tray and proceeded to clean it off. I walk back into the living room to see my daughter SHOVELING MY POPTART! into her mouth as fast as her little fingers would move. I shouted "HEY!, Thats mommy's!" At this she jumped about a foot in the air and took of in a run across the living room, poptart in hand. I had to chase her around and under the table to get it back and by the time I did, what was left after she devoured it was smashed and mutilated.

I found myself laughing so hard I couldn't discipline her cherry filling covered face.

God has a way of giving you what you need just when you need it... An encouraging word, a friendly hug, or in this case, a good laugh... Even if you have to sacrifice a poptart in the process.

The past month has been a process of change and acceptance for me. Learning how to cope and accept the loss of my unborn child and allowing God to begin the healing process in my life. I'm not going to lie and say it's been easy and I've been able to move on, but I have accepted it and am placing it in God's hands hat He knows what is best for me and my family. I feel that I am at peace with what has happened and pray that God will guide me in the path i am to take now. I thank him everyday for what he has given me, especially for my beautiful little poptart stealing daughter.

Thanks to all who have kept us in their prayers, it has been a great help to know that we are supported by so many people.

Update... (Warning: May be best for female eyes only due to some graphic descriptions)

Well, since my last post a lot has happened.
I have had to tell the story over and over so to save myself from having to repeat it yet again, I'm going to blog it here for all who are wanting to know the details.

*Warning: some details may be graphic, and men may feel uncomfortable with some of the female details*

I began spotting and having mild cramping Wednesday night which turned to more intense pain Thursday night.
I returned to the Dr Friday morning to hear the results of my blood tests. He informed me that my hormone levels were dropping drastically as he had figured they would be. This confirmed that my pregnancy was ending and informed me I should be expecting to have an actual miscarriage with in the next week. He told me what I should expect to happen (spotting which would change to heavy bleeding, as well as cramping and contraction-like pain) He said the major "gushing" bleeding (tmi, sorry) should only last an hour or two and then I would experience something like a "normal period". He also told me what should not happen (needing more than 2 pads in an hour, fever over 101 and frequent vomiting) and to contact the office if i experienced any of these symptoms.
Well, that evening his prediction held true and I began experiencing the tell-tale signs of miscarriage. I was experiencing bleeding similar to a period and I was hoping the worst would soon be over. I went to bed hoping to be able to get some sleep through the cramping. around 1:30 -2 am I was awakened by intense abdominal pain. I went into the bathroom and realized my bleeding had increased drastically. While sitting on the toilet I felt a "gush". I don't want to be too graphic but lets say it was a lot more than what the Dr had referred to as "normal". I went back to bed thinking it would pass shortly as he said, but needed to go back to the bathroom about 15 minutes later to prevent a" mess".
It continued on like that until around 4:30 when I barely made it back to the bedroom before passing out. I was awakened by Christopher shaking me vigorously. I asked him to help me back to the restroom again feeling the need as I was "leaking" onto my pajamas. After practically carrying me into the restroom, I passed out onto the floor next to the toilet. At this point Christopher decided it was time to go the ER. I told him I didn't want to go but he refused to let me talk him out of it, so we informed TJ where we were going and asked him to listen for Mackenzie and keep an eye on her.
After getting the ER and through triage, an ER Dr preformed an exam and informed me he would be contacting my OB about doing a D&C because of my extreme blood loss. This is what I was afraid of. I had a fear of having this procedure done because of the side affects I have heard it can cause, including the inability have a healthy pregnancy.
Once I was admitted and moved to the OB unit (where every woman who is miscarrying wants to be, seeing all the beautiful, healthy newborns) We waited for my OB to come and talk to me.
He informed me he felt a D&C was necessary due to my bleeding being uncontrolled and still continuing at a rapid rate. I inquired about my concerns about wanting more children and the damage this procedure might cause. He calmed my nerves to an extent saying he had preformed this for many miscarriages and he had not had a patient have those kinds of complications due to the surgery.
Still feeling uneasy about the surgery as well as experiencing feelings of loss, in addition to the new information that I would be receiving a spinal block for the procedure ( I'm terrified of needles, especially in my back) needless to say I was a crying, sobbing mess on my way to the ER. The nurse transporting me did his best to calm me on the way and even began witnessing to me on our way to the elevator. ( God has a way of letting you know He's there)
The procedure went fine and I was able to go home around 7 pm, not in any real pain, besides my lower back where I received the spinal block. I am now beginning the process of emotional healing and acceptance of my loss and pray for God's hand upon me and my family.
Thank you to all who have prayed and are praying for me and my family through this time, it is greatly appreciated.

Life's Disappointments....

I went to the doctor this morning for my 12 week check. After several minutes of the doctor searching for the heartbeat and measuring the size of my uterus, he said he'd like to an ultrasound. We walked down to the ultrasound room where I laid terrified of hearing the words I knew were coming. "The fetus has no heartbeat".

Based upon the measurements of my uterus and the development presented in the ultrasound, the baby stopped developing somewhere around 7 weeks but the placenta and sac continued to grow, hence the reason I haven't had bleeding or signs of a miscarriage.

I have blood tests Thursday and another appt on Friday, to discuss where to go from here...

I don't understand why these things happen or how exactly to deal with it. I'm praying for strength and would appreciate your prayers for me and my family through this time.

I'm a winner!!!

So i won a contest on Marcia's blog and she wrote a poem about me... How cool is that??

I thought I would share it with you all.

"Busy Little Lizzy"

Busy Little Lizzy
Is usually all in a tizzy
Caring for big, handsome Chris
And sweet little Baby Mack.

Busy Little Lizzy
Can make herself totally dizzy
Making sure nothing's amiss,
And hurrying" there" and back.

Busy Little Lizzy
Wonders, "Who is she or who is he?"
Teaches Mack how to be a big sis,
Plans on getting her figure back.

Busy Little Lizzy
Soon a teacher all bubbly and fizzy
Wants to give all the children a kiss
Replacing the love they lack.

You Rock Marcia!!!

For Uncle Ryan

Because she misses you sooo much, Mackenzie wanted me to post this just for you. :) She loves looking at pictures of you and Steph.